herzlich willkommen auf meinem livejournal!

ich bin aktuell dabei, alle meine alten geschichten, die an anderen orten im internet (lies: vor allem auf der website der hölle) existieren, in dieses journal zu übertragen.

sofern mir dabei tippfehler und kleinere ungereimtheiten auffallen, korrigiere ich diese sofort. langfristig plane ich, alles noch etwas gründlicher zu überarbeiten, da ich meine geschichten gern (für mich) als buch drucken lassen möchte. bis dahin finden sich hier möglicherweise schreibfehler oder seltsame formulierungen, immerhin sind einige dieser geschichten mittlerweile knapp acht jahre alt.

neue geschichten bekommen content notes, so gut ich kann.

viel spaß, falls sich jemals irgendwer hierhin verläuft und gerne in meiner schreiberischen vergangenheit lesen mag. oder viel spaß an mich selbst, falls ich in noch mal sieben jahren wieder hierüber stolpere.

06. (l)on(e)ly

06. (l)on(e)ly

sitting beside xyr window

xe smiled at

something xyr friend said

on the phone &

the gentle smell of

summer night air &

the people on the river side

their laughter & soft voices like

mumbling drifting across from a different


it was only then that

xe realised

xe hadn’t felt lonely in a while

05. here‘s what i remember

[content note (click to open)]
05. here‘s what i remember


let‘s be honest: it isn‘t that much

only bits and

pieces of those first

conversations, feelings, thoughts, touches

& laughter

i can remember that, at least


you hair was red & you told me

we should get matching tattoos

you said it as if that was

perfectly reasonable for two people who had met

just an hour earlier;

you might have been drunk or high or maybe just your careless/

(we didn‘t do it,

you might have been joking after all,


a few weeks later you sent me a picture & said

you could always get one in the future)

your hair was green & you told me

we should find a place together

(i was complaining about my roommate

and you were tired of living alone)

your hair was pink & you told me

you know i had a crush on you when we first met

i didn‘t tell you, but i had one too

(and it never went away)

your head was lying in my lap and i was glad,

your eyes were closed


we kissed once when we hardly knew each other

but i think you don‘t remember &

we never talked about it


your hair was red again & you told me

i have a date tomorrow

(you didn‘t come home that evening)

your next date was mostly in our living room

and that was when i learned

that we sometimes

have the same type


your hair is still red & you told us

last night, while your head was in my lap again

maybe I‘ll keep it that way

04. ghost

ich könnte dir gruselgeschichten erzählen

sagst du in meiner erinnerung, als ich dich um

ablenkung(,) bitte

die art von mensch

bist du eben; du hast gelacht

& wenn ich ehrlich bin, hast du mich auch

ein bisschen mitgerissen,

in deine erzählungen gezogen, so

wie sonst

in deinen bann

02. the exact middle

02. the exact middle

that's where they expect to find me
in perfect symmetry
one part this, another one that
& then mix! 

even purple has various shades but also,
i am more of a turquoise or a blue with
occasional green splotches

somewhere in between,
some combination of colours
some oversimplifications & words that are
never fully ours

they say: i do not understand
but here’s the thing: who told them
understanding would be necessary