noahs schreibarchiv

i’m fine
she says but honestly,
these days i‘m having a
hard time believing that
anyone is

i‘m fine
she says but she hasn‘t been
sleeping and honestly,
neither have i

i‘m fine
i say & she smiles,
quietly understanding &
similarly tired; as if it is
an unspoken agreement
we‘re fine

I keep thinking about how
this you-and-me-thing is
as terrifying
as it is reassuring;

manchmal sind gerade
Dinge, die auf den ersten Blick
unverständlich
scheinen am Ende die, die
am meisten Sinn
stiften;

your hand in mine feels
soft & warm &
i tremble
right.

08. tessellation

as i put the last

piece into place

i try to imagine

a future where someone

stumbles upon a structure that

is being created as I am alive to

witness & I wonder

if —

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

06. (l)on(e)ly

sitting beside xyr window

xe smiled at

something xyr friend said

on the phone &

the gentle smell of

summer night air &

the people on the river side

their laughter & soft voices like

mumbling drifting across from a different

universe;

it was only then that

xe realised

xe hadn’t felt lonely in a while

[content note (click to open)]

alkohol drogen[content note (click to open)]

05. here‘s what i remember

(0)

let‘s be honest: it isn‘t that much

only bits and

pieces of those first

conversations, feelings, thoughts, touches

& laughter

i can remember that, at least

(1)

you hair was red & you told me

we should get matching tattoos

you said it as if that was

perfectly reasonable for two people who had met

just an hour earlier;

you might have been drunk or high or maybe just your careless/
spontaneous/i-don‘t-care-about-societal-norms-self

(we didn‘t do it,

you might have been joking after all,

but

a few weeks later you sent me a picture & said

you could always get one in the future)

your hair was green & you told me

we should find a place together

(i was complaining about my roommate

and you were tired of living alone)

your hair was pink & you told me

you know i had a crush on you when we first met

i didn‘t tell you, but i had one too

(and it never went away)

your head was lying in my lap and i was glad,

your eyes were closed

(2)

we kissed once when we hardly knew each other

but i think you don‘t remember &

we never talked about it

(3)

your hair was red again & you told me

i have a date tomorrow

(you didn‘t come home that evening)

your next date was mostly in our living room

and that was when i learned

that we sometimes

have the same type

(4)

your hair is still red & you told us

last night, while your head was in my lap again

maybe I‘ll keep it that way

ich könnte dir gruselgeschichten erzählen

sagst du in meiner erinnerung, als ich dich um

ablenkung(,) bitte

die art von mensch

bist du eben; du hast gelacht

& wenn ich ehrlich bin, hast du mich auch

ein bisschen mitgerissen,

in deine erzählungen gezogen, so

wie sonst

in deinen bann

ein letztes im-raum-umsehen,
licht ausschalten, du liegst
auf der anderen betthälfte;
arme berühren sich
und innen
nichts als nebel.